Maternal-Fetal Bonding
By Margaret Vadiee, MA, PhD
You’re pregnant! You just found out, but you don’t feel immediately connected to your baby. Is something wrong? No!! It’s okay if you don’t experience an immediate connection. Throughout your pregnancy, your bond with your baby will likely change, develop, and grow. Maternal-Fetal bonding refers to just that, how you develop a relationship with your baby in-utero. Most women will experience a steady development of emotional connection and expectation through the pregnancy so that the closer they get to delivery the more “ready” they feel. Let’s talk about some things you can do to connect with your baby and experience a feeling of “readiness” to meet him or her.
A Healthy Anticipation
No matter if this is your 1st or 5th child, a new baby means change is on the horizon. You can set yourself up for success with a healthy (not anxiety-fueled!) anticipation of what life may be like when the baby arrives. It is helpful to ground yourself in realistic expectations for post-delivery life and accept the change in lifestyle before the baby is born. What will it be like? Talk to a friend or your Ob-Gyn who will be open about what to really expect when the baby arrives.
Mindfulness
Spend some time imagining. You can use evidence-based strategies to slowly walk yourself through what you are imagining using your 5 senses. Think about your baby being lovingly nourished by your body or how the baby may be positioned. Imagine things like what your baby is wearing, the sound of the baby’s cooing, and the feeling of your baby in your arms. There are countless things you can imagine about your baby. Have fun with the creativity of it!
Interacting with Baby
As the baby moves around and kicks, it can be a moment of connection. Did you know your baby loves hearing the sound of your voice and can actually distinguish your voice from others? It is healthy to talk sweetly to your baby as he or she is growing and developing. You can tell your baby about what is going on around them and wonder what the baby may be doing. You can even sing your baby songs! Chances are, they will find those same songs comforting when they are born.
The Space
Time to nest! How do you want to prepare your baby’s environment? Maybe you’re a mom who loves a theme or color scheme, or maybe there’s nothing you love more than practicality. When setting up the environment, choose items that bring you joy. Another way to set up your space for success is to consider that spring cleaning you’ve always wanted to do. It may be a good time to splurge for help or ask a friend to help. Nesting can happen all throughout your home. In the kitchen, stock up on some freezer meals for when you bring baby home. Decide where you want your baby to sleep, and prepare the space.
Struggling?
It’s important to remember that there is no timeline for connection. Take your time to figure out what works best and feels most genuine for bonding with your baby. If you continue to feel like you are struggling, help is available. Reach out to a Maternal Mental Health professional or your OBGYN for support.