Pregnancy Loss Awareness
By: Alex Harris, PhD
“You never arrived in my arms, but you will never leave my heart.” — Zoe Clark-Coates
October is the time of the year when the leaves change, the air gets chillier, and fall begins. October also brings a more somber and significant meaning, Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. This month serves as a reminder for the pain and grief families experience when suffering the loss of a pregnancy, while also raising awareness about infant and pregnancy loss and honoring those lost too soon. In this article, we will discuss what pregnancy loss is, discuss grief, how to support loved ones affected by pregnancy loss, and resources for families who are experiencing or have experienced pregnancy loss.
What is Pregnancy Loss?
Pregnancy loss, often referred to as stillbirth, miscarriage, or infant loss, is an agonizing experience that affects about 1 in 175 families (CDC, 2022). Losses can happen for a plethora of reasons, including medical complications, genetic abnormalities, or unknown causes.
After experiencing pregnancy loss, families may feel shock, anger, denial, confusion, guilt, depression, and loss of energy. In addition, societal stigmas about discussing pregnancy loss may contribute to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Everyone Mourns Differently, and That’s Okay!
Grief is not a one size fits all experience. Different circumstances, coping mechanisms, cultural practices, and a person’s personality can influence the healing journey. Emotions of sadness, guilt, and anger may ebb and flow as time goes on. Grief may take on a range of physical symptoms, including increased or decreased appetite, changes in sleep, overall health changes. The intensity and duration of each emotion varies for each person. Some individuals may heal quicker than others, but every unique journey is okay. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to heal.
How to Support Loved Ones
Every person and family will need different types of support, but here are some general practices on how to support loved ones going through the bereavement process:
Be present
Sometimes showing up is all a person needs. If you feel like you don’t know how to help, ask. If you feel like you don’t know what to say, listen. Allow them to share as little or as much of their journey as possible. Help around the house if possible, whether that’s taking care of other siblings, cleaning, or ordering food.
Acknowledge them as parents:
Some families who experience pregnancy loss or infant loss embrace the title of parents. Follow their lead and do the same. This can be an extremely validating feeling for grieving families.
Help memorialize and remember their child
Some recommended strategies include using the child’s name, participating in cultural traditions around loss, making donations to charity, engaging in storytelling, or helping carry out logistical decisions (e.g., memorial services) when deemed appropriate.
Resources for Families
If you or someone you know is going through pregnancy or child loss you are not alone. There are resources available in your community and nationwide that can assist in your journey towards processing grief. It is also essential to seek professional guidance if your grief becomes overwhelming and persistent.
Star Legacy Foundation
March of Dimes
Dallas Birth Center
References:
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2022). Stillbirth: Data and Statistics. CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/stillbirth/facts.html