How to be Well During Pregnancy: Clarity on Self-Care for Mom and Baby
You’re glowing!! You look so beautiful! I bet you’re so excited! …All things we hear during pregnancy, but don’t always feel. Pregnancy can look and feel drastically different from one woman to the next and that’s okay. Each woman has a different experience during pregnancy. What all pregnant women need and deserve, however, is to prioritize their physical and mental wellbeing. Although the old adage of “you’re eating for two” has been debunked (i.e., you actually only need about 340 extra calories per day, according to The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology). You ARE actually practicing self-care for two. Your well-being is the baby’s well-being.
Taking the Burden out of Self-Care
It can be very hard for mothers or mothers-to-be to practice good self-care. For one, there are a million tasks and people vying for your attention at all times! Additionally, what does self-care even mean? When people hear ‘self-care’ some people conjure up a Zen-like image of someone doing yoga with a sunset in the background, and others are SUPER annoyed! I often work with women who laugh out loud at the mere mention of trying to get more sleep.
In addition to myths, confusion, and practical barriers, women often become overwhelmed at the thought of making changes and try to take on too much and it’s not sustainable (e.g., the new years resolution of trying to run a marathon that ends in a few walks in the park). You don’t have to and SHOULD NOT try to change everything at once. This is a situation when slow and steady wins the race. Choose just one behavior to focus on at a time and celebrate your victories. If you’re not feeling successful or feeling that the change is a burden, you have set yourself up with an unrealistic goal; go back and think about what might be feasible.
Why is Self-Care Important? Should I really Carve out Space and Time for this?
Research with pregnant and postpartum women has clearly shown that taking care of yourself, both physically and emotionally, is associated with positive physical, developmental, cognitive and emotional benefits for your baby in the short and long-term! It’s not just about baby though, self-care does mama some good too. Women who practice good self-care and effectively treat mental health concerns during pregnancy have lower rates of postpartum mood and adjustment challenges and stronger relationships with their children after birth and as their children age. So, with that said, let’s do this thing!
Okay I’m in! Wait, What Do I Actually Need to do?
Self-care has been defined as providing adequate attention to one's own physical and psychological wellness (Beauchamp & Childress, 2001). Easy breezy right? My guess is that it’s actually probably easier than you think. Self-Care focuses on the basics like sleep, nutrition, taking care of daily needs, and paying attention to your mood. Self-care does NOT mean a complicated workout routine that you hate or learning a new skill that is daunting to you. Self-care should feel good! Like you’re nurturing yourself and/or your baby.
To get started, I recommend you follow these steps:
STEP 1: Re-acquaint yourself with the word “self-care” – create a healthier meaning and shed the myth that everything has to change all at once (e.g., your diet, your exercise routine, and waking up everyday at 5am to meditate). Release yourself from self-judgement and start with a blank slate.
STEP 2: Identify one self-care behavior you’d like to change (take a look at our list of self-care behaviors below) and make a REASONABLE and REALISTIC plan to make this change. Find a way to do this that sounds enjoyable and feels as if you’re actually CARING for yourself.
STEP 3: Maintain your change and celebrate your victories! When you feel ready and compelled to make another change, then repeat steps 1-3. Don’t force yourself to add something else in until you’re ready.
Self-Care Behaviors for Pregnant Women
Sleep Well
The importance of sleep cannot be overstated. Sleep is associated with your mood, your ability to focus, remember and learn new information, and your energy level during the day. Good consistent sleep also plays a huge role in stress management and positive interpersonal relationships.
TELL ME MORE: ACOG on Sleep Health
Eat Nutritious Foods and Drink Plenty of Water
Make sure you are eating food that will help nourish and energize your body. Don’t skip meals or skimp on snacks. Listen to your body and allow yourself to enjoy a hamburger if that’s what you’re craving. You want to be mindful and eat whole nutritious foods, but this is not the time to worry about diet and weight loss. Instead, enjoy a rich and varied diet that will fuel you and your baby. Make sure to drink enough water.
TELL ME MORE: ACOG on Nutrition During Pregnancy
Reality Check: Often, especially in the first trimester, women have difficulty eating the variety of foods they normally do due to nausea and food aversions. This is very common and your baby will be okay! Just do the best you can. If you have concerns about your nutrition intake, please contact your ob-gyn right away.
Practice Daily Coping
Spend time doing activates you enjoy
Spend time with positive family and friends
Move around! (Get out of bed, get dressed, take a walk, exercise as your doctor recommends)
Spend time outdoors in nature
Start a gratitude journal
Learn about mindfulness
Listen to music that is soothing
Read a favorite book
Avoid putting more on your to-do list than you can accomplish in a day – be realistic and kind to yourself
Add to your coping list as you notice certain activities that are particularly helpful to you (e.g., if you love taking baths, cuddling your dog, or spending time in the garden) and keep that list handy. You can do these coping actives proactively (e.g., on a daily or weekly basis as prevention) or reactively (e.g., when you’re feeling down or anxious for a quick distraction and mood boost).
Allow others to help you!
If there was ever a time to start letting others help you, that time is now! Pregnant and postpartum women need more practical and emotional support than in other times in their lives. Allow family, friends and colleagues to help with practical needs and tasks at work and at home. For example, consider hiring that housekeeper you’ve been thinking about for a year or asking the babysitter to start coming weekly. Make sure to have a support team plan in place for the postpartum period. TELL ME MORE: Allowing Others to Help Blog
Monitor your Mood
Pay attention to your mood, stress, anxiety, and behaviors during pregnancy. Women are at the highest risk of developing a mood or anxiety disorder during child bearing years. At least 50% of postpartum depression diagnoses begin as untreated depression or anxiety during pregnancy. It is vital to pay attention to yourself and get professional help if needed as soon as you notice a change or concern. I recommend educating yourself and your partner or loved one on the signs and symptoms of perinatal mood disorders so you can both be monitoring. Proactively discuss this concern with your ob-gyn or midwife and invite them to monitor your mood as well. TELL ME MORE: Knowledge is Power Blog: What to know about Perinatal Mental Health
Professional Help
You can drastically decrease your risk of postpartum mood and adjustment concerns by seeking professional help during pregnancy. If you are concerned about yourself, please contact your medical and/or mental health provider for an evaluation and discussion of treatment options. It is important that you speak with a provider experienced in the treatment of pregnant women (e.g., an ob-gyn, midwife or mental health provider specializing in maternal mental health). TELL ME MORE: Truth about what Treatment Looks like Blog
Go Forth and Be Well!
Remember self-care is about being realistic and kind to yourself. There will be good days and bad days. Practice being compassionate toward yourself on the less than perfect days and pat yourself on the back when you succeed. Our team at Behavioral Health Dallas is looking forward to helping you all with more common questions and concerns pregnant women and new moms have. Be on the lookout for updated blogs and videos in the future!